You don't have to wear jewelry if you really don't want to.
I would never tell you to do something that genuinely bothers you, makes you uncomfortable, or feels completely wrong for who you are. If you don't wear jewelry now and have no intention of ever wearing it, that's your choice.
But finish this guide anyway.
You may come away with a better understanding of why some men wear jewelry, what it can add to the way a man looks, and why something as small as a ring, bracelet, or chain can sometimes change more than you might expect.
Are you a man who at least wears a watch? If you do, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you're already wearing jewelry. In fact, according to just about every style authority you'll ever read, a watch is considered jewelry. So are cuff links and tie bars.
For some men, the real objection is much simpler. Jewelry just looks too girly to them.
And, in fact, that is a very valid reason not to wear it. If a piece looks feminine to you and makes you uncomfortable, I am not going to tell you to put it on because somebody decided it's fashionable. There is plenty of jewelry I wouldn't wear either, most decidedly men's PEARLS. I refuse to be adorned in Barbara Bush PEARLS.
But men's jewelry has changed, and so has the number of men wearing it.
I live in a small town in a very conservative area of New York. I also belong to a great local gym, and I would estimate that at least 65 percent of the men there wear a gold chain. Not some thin little flimsy necklace that looks feminine, but a very nice, masculine gold link chain.
Even I didn't expect to see that many men wearing one.
What surprised me just as much was the range of ages. I see gold chains on high school students, men in their twenties and thirties, middle-aged men, and men well into their seventies and eighties. This isn't one generation following some temporary trend.
So if you've always thought, Jewelry isn't for me, I'm not asking you to change your mind today. I'm only asking you to consider whether there might be one piece that is.
Men Have Been Wearing Jewelry for a Very Long Time
There is nothing new or inherently feminine about men wearing jewelry. Men have worn rings, chains, bracelets, brooches, signets, medals, earrings, and other forms of personal adornment for thousands of years.
Kings wore jewelry. Warriors wore it. Sailors wore it. Religious leaders wore it. Wealthy merchants wore it. Working men wore it. Jewelry could represent rank, family, faith, wealth, loyalty, achievement, marriage, military service, or simply personal taste.
Styles changed, of course. What a Roman soldier wore is not what a banker wore in 1995, and neither is necessarily what a man will wear to dinner tonight. But the idea that jewelry somehow stopped being masculine is a relatively narrow way of looking at a very long history.
Men have always found ways to wear things that say something about who they are.
I know because I eventually became one of them.
I Didn't Always Wear Jewelry
I didn't always wear jewelry. In fact, I didn't even wear a watch until I was in my thirties.
I just didn't like jewelry. And if you remember the 1980s, you may understand why. Most of the men's jewelry I saw back then simply wasn't all that appealing to me. I had no interest in wearing it, and believe me, even putting on a watch was a big step.
Then came the 1990s, and I started noticing changes. I was seeing more and more men wearing tie bars and collar bars. I thought they looked great. They were masculine, polished, and added something to a man's appearance without making him look overly decorated. So I started wearing them, and I liked what they did for me. They added polish to the way I dressed, and they added to my confidence, which was already off the charts, but that's another story.
At the same time, my career was moving fast. I was rising very rapidly in the IT area of the banking industry, and as I moved higher, I started paying even more attention to the men around me and how they presented themselves.
More and more executives were wearing French cuff shirts, which of course required cuff links. Again, I noticed the difference. Those men had an air of refinement. They looked successful. They looked important. Quite frankly, they looked like what they were worth.
Not to be outdone, I started wearing French cuff shirts too, and man, did I ever build a collection of cuff links.
When I left the house in the morning, I felt like a Fortune 500 executive. I looked the part too, and that mattered. It garnered respect, got me noticed in upper circles, and helped open doors as my career continued to climb. I became increasingly aware that how I presented myself affected how people saw me before I ever said a word.
That was fine for my business side. My personal side still left something to be desired. When I went to clubs or socialized in a more casual environment, there were no French cuff shirts, cuff links, tie bars, or collar bars.
I felt naked.
Just a watch? Was that it? Then came the bracelets. I started with two and, well, I'm not going to divulge the final count because I don't like feeling embarrassed. After that came rings. Gold chains came last.
Over a period of about fifteen years, I went from wearing almost nothing to wearing almost everything. And something happened along the way that I never could have imagined back in the 1980s, when even wearing a watch felt like a big step.
Jewelry elevated my confidence to levels I didn't know were possible. When I walked into a room, any room, my confidence shone like a supernova. I felt great about myself. When I looked in the mirror, I smiled. Not some little curl of the lips, either.
A great big fucking grin.
I had arrived.
So Why Do Men Wear Jewelry?
There is no single answer. Some men wear jewelry for deeply personal reasons. Others wear it for the same reason they choose a great pair of shoes or a shirt that fits perfectly.
It looks good.
That answer may not sound profound, but it doesn't need to be. A plain shirt can look better with the right chain. A bare hand can look more interesting with one well-chosen ring. A watch can add polish. A bracelet can give an otherwise simple outfit a little more personality.
Sometimes there is no hidden meaning. A man looks in the mirror, likes what he sees, and walks out the door feeling better about himself.
Other jewelry carries meaning that has nothing to do with fashion. A wedding band may represent decades with the same partner. A watch may have belonged to a father. A ring may have come from a grandfather. A religious medal may represent faith. A piece may mark retirement, recovery from illness, major weight loss, a milestone birthday, a new relationship, or a point in life when a man decided things were going to change.
The piece may be small. What it means to the man wearing it may be enormous.
Jewelry can also become part of your identity. Some men are known for a particular watch, ring, chain, or pair of earrings. After a while, the piece no longer feels like something extra you put on. It simply feels like you.
Then there is one of the most practical reasons of all: the right jewelry can make simple clothes look intentional.
A man can put on a fitted black shirt, dark jeans, and good shoes and look perfectly fine. Add a watch, an appropriate chain, perhaps a ring or bracelet, and the same basic outfit can suddenly look finished. The clothes didn't become more expensive. The man simply looks as though he gave some thought to the complete picture.
Jewelry can also draw attention where you want it. A good ring brings attention to the hands. A bracelet can emphasize a strong forearm. A chain can frame an open collar. Earrings can draw attention toward the face. Used correctly, jewelry becomes part of how the eye sees the man.
And then there is the reason men sometimes seem reluctant to admit.
It can be fun.
You see a bracelet and think it would look great with your watch. You find a chain that works beautifully against a dark shirt. You try a ring you never would have considered five years earlier and discover that you like seeing it on your hand. Before long, you start noticing materials, colors, metals, links, textures, and combinations you never paid attention to before.
That doesn't mean you have to become a collector. It means you have options.
You Don't Have to Become "A Jewelry Guy"
One of the biggest mistakes a man can make is thinking that trying jewelry requires some grand declaration that he has changed who he is.
It doesn't.
Put on a bracelet and go about your day.
If someone asks about it and you feel embarrassed, just say, "It was an anniversary present from my wife, and I only wear it because I don't want to hurt her feelings. If you knew her, you'd understand."
There. I've even given you an alibi.
The point is to get comfortable enough to find out whether you actually like wearing it. A new watch can feel strange at first. So can a ring. So can a chain around your neck or a bracelet moving slightly on your wrist. Anything unfamiliar can make you overly aware of it for a while.
Give yourself time.
And good God, you have a watch on one wrist. Don't make the other one self-conscious by leaving it naked. Wear a bracelet.
I'm serious. If we can get you comfortable wearing a watch, a wedding band, a chain, and a bracelet, my job is pretty much done. Once you cross that bridge, you may discover for yourself where you want to go next.
Maybe nowhere. Fine. Maybe another bracelet. Maybe a ring. Maybe cuff links for a special occasion. Maybe you discover that you like silver more than gold, leather more than metal, or one substantial piece more than several smaller ones.
The choice remains yours.
What About Pierced Ears?
It almost feels like forever since I got my ears pierced, but it was only a little over two years ago. I was 73 years old at the time.
I never saw the appeal of men wearing earrings. It was something I knew I was never going to do. Not maybe. Not someday. Never.
My transformation into Doug 2.0 began in 2022 when I decided to have a lot of dental work done. That forced me to lose a little weight, and something unexpected happened. I got excited.
Wow. I am capable of losing weight. I wonder if I could ever lose enough so I could be looked at as fuckable.
After losing some weight, I was browsing online one day and saw an ad for men's earrings. The earrings were masculine, and the man wearing them looked great. Something about that image stuck with me. I didn't suddenly decide to get my ears pierced, but it was the beginning of a long road toward doing exactly that.
The problem was simple. I wanted to know what I looked like in earrings before I let anyone put holes in my ears. How do you do that?
Little did I know, they had just the thing for me: magnetic earrings.
I bought a cheap pair on Amazon. By the time they arrived, I was genuinely excited to see how they would look on me and, perhaps even more important at that point in my life, how they might look on the future thinner me I was beginning to imagine.
I put them on.
It was love at first sight.
They looked great, but I couldn't stop thinking about how they would look on the future me. I bought about ten more pairs of magnetic earrings and started wearing them. Then came something I hadn't expected: compliments. Lots of them.
That did it. I was convinced earrings were for me, and I decided to take the next step.
Of course, being me, I couldn't simply go get an ear pierced. I had to research which ear I should have pierced. I had heard all the old stories about the left ear meaning one thing and the right ear meaning another, and I did not want to send the wrong signal.
What I discovered was that most of that old mythology had gone out the window. Virtually no one cared anymore which ear a man had pierced, and there was little significance attached to one side or the other. It just didn't matter.
Oddly enough, I almost wished there had still been a rule. I would have felt better knowing which one I was supposed to pierce.
So while I was going out every weekend, I started paying attention to other men. Which ear did they have pierced? To my amazement, I saw more men with both ears pierced than with only one.
Well, that made my decision easier. I had them both done.
There is a healing period after piercing, and I was told to leave the starter earrings in for at least six weeks and care for the new piercings as instructed. Being an impatient person, I apparently decided that five weeks was close enough.
BIG MISTAKE.
I took them out and changed them early. I wish I had left them alone for eight weeks. The pain was unbelievable. I eventually had to go back to the man who pierced my ears because I couldn't get one of the earrings out. He yelled at me, which I deserved, then took pity on me and helped me through it.
Today I own close to 100 pairs of earrings and rarely go out without wearing a pair. Not bad for a man who waited until he was 73 to get his ears pierced.
Now, 100 pairs may sound excessive, but hear me out. Once you separate the gold ones, silver ones, black ones, and diamond ones, it really isn't that excessive. Some pairs cost me ten dollars on Amazon. My one-carat-each diamond earrings? Let's just say they were not cheap.
Earrings even helped me loosen my obsession with symmetry. I have one look I especially like when I go out on a Friday or Saturday night. I wear a dangling earring in my left ear and a stud in my right. They are the same metal, of course. I haven't completely lost my mind.
The look is intentionally asymmetrical, and it looks great on me. People notice my earrings, but no one has ever said, "Your earrings don't match." Not once. When the pieces coordinate and the choice looks intentional, people see the complete look, not a mistake.
And I still get compliments.
What is so wrong about wearing something people constantly compliment you on?
I can't think of a damn thing.
Getting Noticed for the Right Reasons
There is one more reason to consider wearing jewelry, and it may be the most important one.
When a nicely dressed man wearing appropriate jewelry walks into a room, he gets noticed, and noticed for the right reasons.
Potential partners may notice you first. That's half the battle. Other men may look at you and quietly wish they looked as good as you do. A man who is well dressed, well groomed, and wearing jewelry that suits him exudes confidence.
He doesn't have to be the youngest man in the room, the richest, or the most handsome. He looks like a man who understands who he is and how to present himself.
And let me stress the word appropriate.
I'm not talking about covering every finger with rings, stacking bracelets halfway to your elbow, or hanging enough gold around your neck to affect your posture. I'm talking about jewelry that suits the man, the clothes, and the occasion.
The right jewelry can finish an outfit, make a simple look more interesting, give people something to remember about you, and help you stand out without looking as though you are begging for attention.
That is the difference.
You don't have to wear jewelry because I do. You don't have to wear it because more men are wearing it now, because it has thousands of years of history behind it, or because some style expert says you should.
But if you have never really given it a chance, perhaps it is worth reconsidering.
Start small. Wear the watch. Try the chain. Add a bracelet. Give yourself enough time to get used to seeing it on you before deciding it isn't for you.
Then look in the mirror.
You may not have arrived yet.
But you might be surprised by how much you like the man looking back at you.